‘Cheeky’ First Date

I had been talking to a guy that I had met online and we had traded pictures. I thought he was really hot and he told me I was too. So he lived about two hours away so after about one year of talking, he decided that we should finally meet. I thought it was safe enough, so I told him a restaurant in my downtown area to meet me at the next night.

So that night I got ready, (it took me a total of 4 hours!... I was very nervous!) I put on a little tight black mini-dress that I was sure he was going to like, and headed off to the restaurant. I walked in and I seen him in the waiting area right away. He gave me a big hug and told me I looked even better in person. I melted on that comment. I told him he did too.. because he was looking mighty fine!

Dinner went great! Great conversations, just like we had online. When we walked out of the restaurant, he goes, "Oh my gosh, your dress ripped!". It turns out, I dropped my napkin when we first sat down, so I must have split a seam when I had reached for it. It was a long tear which exposed one of my butt cheeks!

He gave me his jacket, like a gentlemen, to wrap around me, and we went back to my place, where I changed. It was so embarrassing! But he didn't seem to mind too much, because he moved right into my town and we are still dating and very much in love.
 

"Ex, ex and more exes"
This may well qualify as the oddest internet story, bedsides the college girl who was flirting with “Big Daddy”, who turned out to be her own Dad, finding this out as she goes to a hotel room to meet the guy for the first time. Talk about Family issues!

Anyway…

To capsulate, I had been married for 12 years to a man that thought fidelity had something to do with insurance. The last straw was the affair with our bookkeeper, Sue. It had gone on for about 8 months by the time I found out. And the kicker was, my ex is 5 ft 3 and bald. He wasn’t bald at 19 when we met, but his hair barely hung around to his early twenties.

She was married to a 6 ft tall Software engineer, who made tons of money and liked to mountain climb, so he was in great shape. But she since schtupped my husband, I guess there is no figuring for taste?

So the day finally arrived. My divorce was final. So I decided to celebrate with my roommate and her boyfriend. Nick, a guy I had met online, decided that night would be a good night to finally meet. He was going to be playing pool at a place just down the street from where we were going, so my roommate and I stopped in on our way to her boyfriends place.

Nick was even better looking in person and funny and very charming. Since we weren’t going to our place, we invited him to have dinner and drinks with us. He said he too was celebrating his divorce, which was final in a few days as well.

So he and I sit on the couch and exchange spouse horror stories, while my roommate and her boyfriend make dinner. He and I were cracking each other up, trying to top each others stories. I said mine had cheated with the bookkeeper. He said she slept with her boss. I said mine had used my MC to buy her stuff at Victoria’s secret and paid for the motel, that’s how I found out. He said she actually confessed, but had said it was over, but that was the last straw so he filed for a divorce.

The he said “Sue said..” I said Sue?? I then looked at him, while the blood rushed from my brain.

Nick and Sue, Sue and Nick.

This was the ex husband of my ex husband's ex girl friend!!!

I blurted out” Holy SH*T!!! Sue’s husband??”

My roommate came flying around the corner saying “ Sue, the one Dan had the 8 month affair with?”

Nick looked up bewildered, 8 months he exclaimed!!! Turns out, she had been doing a lot of guys, my ex was just the last on a long list. We spent the rest of the night giggling and talking trash about the exes.

I never saw him after that, it would have been too weird. But what are the odds of that happening! Blind internet date with the ex husbands, ex girlfriends, ex husband. Sound like a bad soap plotline! But I did get some good laughs out of it and it is a great story to tell at parties.