I spoke to a man I’ll call Joe for a month daily online and we spoke on the phone a few times as well. One night he said since he was coming up to my area on the train to see our local baseball team with a few of his male friends, he would like to meet me and we could go to the game and out to dinner afterwards. He asked me to drive over and meet him at the train station and said his friends were going off on their own and we would also.
I had asked and asked this man for a pic of himself but he said he had no way of getting one on the net, which should have been the first red flag but at the time I was naive to the net and my nature is to normally trust people until I have a reason not to so I let that slide. The man I went to pick up was unkempt; dirty and smelly with greasy blond hair – he reeked! When he opened his mouth, the teeth that WERE remaining were either black or green. Needless to say I was totally turned off, but since he was already in my car and a lot larger than me, I felt intimidated to follow through with this so-called date though in retrospect I should have made some sort of excuse and gotten out of it.
In any event, I drove directly to the stadium and he and I went up to the ticket booth where he exchanged his ticket for general admission tickets for us both as none of the other type were available. We sat and watched the game for an hour at which time he announced he was ‘bored with it’ and ‘let’s go to dinner’. I drove over to a restaurant I know very well but the hostess said they were no longer seating since it wasn’t tourist season yet and the kitchen was closed. To my surprise “Joe” said that he knew the area because he had lived in the next town for over a year awhile back. He asked since we were there could we walk on the boardwalk and I said, ‘sure why not’. I parked my car and he said, ‘the smell of your hair makes me nuts’ – I felt like saying ‘yes it’s freshly washed clean hair you pig’ but I thought better of it. I hadn’t given him ANY indication that I was interested in fooling around and he hadn’t even kissed me! Then he asked, “Do you have a blanket in your trunk?” I played dumb as I knew why he asked that and said, “no – why would I need a blanket?” He replied, “because I want to f _ _ _ you on the beach”. I told him he was crazy and I insisted that he stop talking to me about it NOW! On the way to the boardwalk, he brought it up again suggesting we ‘do it under the boardwalk’. I told him I was going to take him back to his car if he continued to push. He said he’d stop and he did. I also told him it was a good way to get arrested because the police patrol the beach with ATV’s even if I WERE interested which I was not.
We ate dinner at a restaurant near my apartment as it was the only one I knew open without taking him some distance from my home and I didn’t want to prolong this date any longer than necessary. I drove him to his hotel room, but told him I was NOT going in and didn’t. He said he would ‘keep in touch’ but I went home and deleted him from my friend list. I didn’t hear from him for six months and I forgot about him for the most part.
I am then messaged by a man I THINK is a stranger and it was him! He said, “Remember me?” I asked him, ‘who ARE you?’ He told me. I told him I was not interested. He wrote back, “I waited long enough to f_ _ _ you and I am not waiting any longer! I did a reverse on your phone # and I know where you live. I will be at your apartment next Friday and I am staying the weekend and f’ing your brains out whether you like it or not.” I told him he had better not try to contact me again or come here because if he did, I would call the police.
I put him on ignore once again and the next day went to Salem, Ma. for the day with my friend Tricia. We had a nice day but on the way home, I sensed that ‘Joe’ was in my area. Something told me – call it my spirit guides – my intuition – what have you but I sensed it strongly and told her so. She said I was being paranoid and not to worry about it. Well anyway I was tired when we got home so I checked my e-mail and went right to sleep. I was awakened at 1:30 AM by fifteen minutes of knocking on my kitchen window as I am on the first floor of this apartment building. My dog was growling under the window. I knew who it was so I called the police. The female dispatcher told me I had done the right thing and to stay on the line – she called it some # and Code Red’ which only added to my heart palpitations. She said she was dispatching two policemen on foot to surround the perpetrator. She announced to me it was a male and they had surrounded him catching him banging yet again on my kitchen window. He told them he was a ‘friend’ – they asked him for identification and he said he had none but gave his name. I told her he was no friend, which she relayed to the officers. They asked him to leave the premises or they would arrest him for trespassing and he did. The next day I received an e-mail from him saying that that was ‘exciting’ to have the police called on him and he wasn’t giving up. I didn’t answer his e-mail, but I never heard from him again.
The moral of this story is if you are going to date someone you meet on the internet, never give out your home phone # because apparently it is easily traced to your address even though now I have a different address than the one that appears in the phone book due to a 911 change.
Another moral of this story is not to be a nice person on a date when the guy is a definite jerk and telling him nicely does NOT work. End it abruptly and nastily if you have to but some guys need more than a not so subtle hint that this is NOT working.