I met ‘Max’ online in a neighboring state’s romance chat room.
We hit it off immediately and we began talking daily. He worked inconsistent hours as the manager of an Applebee’s so we talked at different times. He gave me his cell phone and work # because those were easiest to contact him on. I was THRILLED when he finally asked me out for dinner.
We went to my favorite Mexican cafe – he was adorable and everything was going very well. He asked if he could sit next to me in the booth because sitting across from me was ‘too far away’. We fed each other nachos and he kissed me and kissed me long and passionately as though no one else were in the restaurant. I thought oh my God this is the FIRST time that has EVER happened to me! He acted as though I were a goddess and I felt like the most desirable; gorgeous woman on the planet. We walked out to his car where he proceeded to take my hand and suck each of my fingers into his mouth – kissing me and telling me how he was falling for me already. I know – I know MUCH too soon but at the time I was very vulnerable and I had been with my ex for 23 years – almost half of my life and hadn’t dated many men before my ex and this was all new to me). I am a hopeless romantic and I wanted to believe it.
We dated for two incredible months. He was extremely passionate; romantic; sensitive and kind to me. e told me he loved me and I told him that I loved him. Every time we’d go out to dinner and/or a movie, we’d come back and make love at my place as he was 3 hours from me.
Then one morning I received an e-mail from him saying, “Everything I told you was the truth except that I am MARRIED and living with my wife. I know this must come as a shock to you but I hate her and I do love you. I would leave her in a heartbeat for you if it weren’t for our two small children. She said awhile ago if I ever left her, she would make sure I never saw the children and they would cease to be a part of my life forever. I can’t accept that. I love them too much. I hope you understand. I want to continue our relationship – you to love and her because of the children. I won’t touch her. I promise. Just let us continue the way we are now and let me love you. You are everything to me.”
I wrote back ‘How could you LIE to me this way?! I never want to see you again.’
He didn’t take no for an answer and he kept hounding me in e-mail. I still see him on the net occasionally in romance chat rooms and he’s still looking.
It amazes me that a man can look at himself in the mirror after lying like that. I was devastated, but better to know two months into it than later on down the road.