"Use it or lose it!"
I met a nice guy off the net, we had a few drinks and arranged to meet the following week. He came to my home and sat on the sofa, I was getting ready to go out with him and all of a sudden he pulled out a huge box of Viagra, said it was coming up to its sell by date and would I mind terribly?

"God has a message for you"
A girl I met recently share this with me... She was waiting at the Starbucks to meet a guy named Christian. She suddenly realized that she was at the wrong Starbucks, and raced up the street to the other Starbucks. She was about 30 minutes late so she just started going up to all the guys in the Starbucks saying “Are you Christian? Are you Christian?” Later, she realized why all the guys looked at her kind of funny – thinking she was a major Bible thumper.

"Surprise Package"
On the swing side of things, I am someone’s best night ever, and I didn’t even sleep with him. It was right after my divorce, during that wild 3 month time that you do incredibly stupid things in the name of freedom.

My friend and I wanted to go out one night and one guy I had been chatting with online named Frank said he would be happy to drive us. I have to put in here, that I was 33 at the time, my friend was 23 and Frank was barely 22. He arrived, all 6 ft 4 of him. Huge hands and feet. HUMMM… could be interesting!

We went out to a club but he had worked all day so he sat at the bar and watched us dance. About 11, we called it a night and went home. My friend was pretty drunk by this time, and when I retuned from the bathroom, she had gotten a bit frisky and had decided she wanted some action. So there she was, pantyless and straddling his face!

I decided, what the heck. I was on my period, so I wasn’t going to have sex, and besides I never put out on a first date. Well, almost never!

So I decided I could handle a hand job. But as I went for his zipper, I was surprised not to feel anything hard. I mean, most 22 year olds with a mouth full of Pu**y would have a hard on like the rock of Gibraltar.

I got the zipper down and pulled down his fruit of the looms. And there it was. All 2 inches of him. (Infantile penile syndrome is the technical term) Fully erect, no bigger than my thumb. I let out a small gasp and my friend turned to see why I had made a noise like that. She saw what I was looking at and in sheer surprise, toppled off his face.

So there we were. 1 Half naked girl, 1 fully dressed girl and 1 aroused 6 ft 4, slightly drunk male.

Doing the only thing that came to mind, I looked at him coyly and asked him if he minded doing me a favor and helping me live out one of my favorite fantasies. He looked at me sort of befuddled and said sure.

With that and a small sigh of regret for the shirt I was about to ruin, I grabbed my shirt with both hands, and ripped it open. Buttons flew in every direction. I then grabbed my bra by the middle and ripped it off over my head.

I looked at him and said I now wanted him to spray his stuff all over me. He lurched to his knees and with a stroke or two, he dribbled out on to his clenched hand. I threw my head back and in perfect Porn star mode… I growled and thrashed and rubbed my DRY hands all over my DRY chest and said naught naughty things.

I then said that was the best, better than I had imagined and that I now needed to go to sleep. I helped him zip up and gently steered him out the door. I then returned to my living room, where I saw my friend laid out on the floor from laughter. Every time our eyes met we would break into giggles. Poor guy.

Well, the next day I emailed him and said I had a lovely time, but the age difference was just too much and wished him luck with someone closer to his own age. He asked about my friend and I said she had a boyfriend she was trying to work things out with.

Flash forward 3 years. I am on my computer late one night and I see him in a chat room. I say hi for old times sake. I get this response. I was the best night of his life. He dreams of me often and that that was the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him and he wanted to thank me.

Well, teeny tiny weenie or not, he was still a nice young man and I am glad he has at least one happy memory I his life. And I got to feel like a sex goddess and I think I also get a gold star for handling a potential scary situation as well with dignity and grace, well maybe more like Will and Grace!