And what is a public head toucher you may be wondering? Now I understand that your initial thought would be that it’s an individual that makes a point to touch you skull, like beneath hair, no light tapping, in public. But reason would lead you to believe that no one would do that because there is no way someone actually does that. That’s what I thought too until my skull was grabbed in a very public location, several different times, after I made it quite clear that (yet again)I do not like to be touched. I need to get a HANDS OFF sign, comprised of neon yellow letters, which I can wear as some sort of a hat. Not only will this protect my skull which was currently under assault, but should P feel a need to hit second base again with the back of my adorable virginal, left hand, he would have to think better of it. Surely you cant mix a message if it is in neon lights staring at you. I take it back. It is best to adhere to the, one can never be too sure policy when dealing with a hand raper and/or head toucher.
I just want to point out that neither the back of my left hand or my skull were ever targets of clearly misguided sexual energy, resulting from one’s overly too inflated ego. No way freak show 1 or freak show 2 were up to my standards, and this was pre- hand/skull incidents. If those things didn’t happen to me I would cry LIAR, but they did. The fact that these events happened not even 4 days apart is evidence of the dire dating pool situation . But seriously, have they really run out of regular ways to annoy us and just completing random acts of doucheyness (kindness is a better option fellas) that make no sense, but must take place because my tool of the evening wanted to up the shock factor? Well let me put this myth to bed. I am the shock factor, thus un-shockable. Trust me, I have seen it all. And just to be sure the myth is tucked in, I have one a final point. Insane, preposterous behavior from anyone doesn’t phase me. Thus, if signs of mental defect are evident prior, all it does is prove there is no such thing as a free lunch (dinner/ drinks/ whatever). If the next delusional thinker who is playing make believe date with me touches my knee, I am packing it in, getting a cat, and some Haagen Das.