Death of a Date by Chili Cheese Burrito

I consider myself pretty wise about the pitfalls of online dating, but this guy took the cake, or should I say the burrito…

I had been talking to a guy for several weeks and no red flags had been raised during our lengthy chat sessions or phone calls. We made plans to finally meet, he offered to drive to my town since he lived over an hour away. He wanted to take me to dinner and a movie. He was over an hour late to my apartment and on our way out the door to go eat he asked me to drive, saying he had a hard day and all the driving to pick me up had worn him out.

At that point I was so hungry from the wait I agreed to do it. So, on our way to a nice sit down restaurant he makes me pull into a fast food drive through for dinner. Stating that because he had been out of the country working for a year or so he missed eating at this place, I reluctantly agreed.

He proceeded to order 7 items off the menu and ate every last bite. I ate maybe half my food before I lost my appetite. He then spent the next 15 minutes complaining about how bad he felt and wished he had not eaten the chili cheese burrito.

I took him to the park so we could walk and he could digest his food. During our stroll around the park he made a mad dash to the bathrooms and proceeded to have me wait 30 minutes. When he finally reappeared with a sweaty forehead, he opened his wallet to show me pictures of his ex girlfriend, all 10 of them. He wanted me to see what “the bitch that put me through hell” looked like.

I suggested that we go back to my place. Once we parked, I gave him the whole “I have a headache” line. He said he understood but asked me to please let him use my bathroom so he could pee since it was going to be a long ride, stupid me I did. 45 minutes later he comes out of my bathroom and tells me that he was sorry but got caught up in reading my readers digest.

10 seconds later the horrid smell coming from the bathroom hit me between the eyes, I almost gagged. He then asked me if he could sleep on the couch because he was SO tired from the long trip he just couldn’t make it. I then informed him that he had to make it because he was not staying at my apartment and I showed him the door. He pouted and finally walked out the door and I quickly locked it behind him. He sent me texts for days saying that he had never felt a connection like the one he felt for me. I changed my number.

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